Mom loved music and shared that love with us. That is no surprise to any of my friends who would come over to the house and use the bathroom, which received the affectionate name of Rock and Roll Heaven. The decor was framed photos of various bands and singers such as the Beatles, Bob Dylan, Guns and Roses, and her favorite, Tom Petty. I vividly remember us listening to Tom Petty on my way to school as we would travel across town after dropping my sister off at preschool, and it was just me and my mom sharing that time.
The opening verse of Free Fallin’ makes me think of her:
She’s a good girl, loves her mama
Loves Jesus and America too
She’s a good girl, crazy ’bout Elvis
Loves horses and her boyfriend too
She’s a good girl, loves her mama. My mom loved her mama so much that she took on her personality and sense of humor. My mom could always make you laugh, even in the most challenging moments of your life. The sense of joy that she always left us with, even at the very end of her life, was absolute abundance. Even when it was harder for her to move around, she never missed an opportunity to come around the table to play games with us, and loved all the laughter we shared around the table.
Loves Jesus and America too. Mom was the bedrock of faith in our family. Even when we were in between churches or felt we didn’t want to go to church, she gently guided us to get involved in Sunday School and Youth Group. Oddly enough, as we got involved in the youth group, it had a slingshot effect on our parents, guiding them deeper into their faith. Her deepening faith unlocked a genuine love for people, vocationally, working to open up opportunities for underserved communities in the medical field through her work with UCSF, and her volunteer work helping children in Sunday School and the tutoring program. She faithfully followed Christ to the margins.
She’s a good girl, crazy ’bout Elvis. To expand upon mom’s love for music, she used to work for a publication entrenched in the music industry. As such, she would have access to several artists, but the one artist that still makes me laugh imagining their conversation was when she talked to Sir Mix-A-Lot. As a fan of Hip Hop and Rap, I was familiar with his music, and to this day I can’t help but laugh when I think of their conversation. However, this was the wonderful thing about Mom because there was nobody with whom she couldn’t converse. She could reach you with a kind word and conversation regardless of background or status.
Loves horses and her boyfriend too. Ultimately, there was no doubt that Mom loved us. She loved her grandbabies deeply, her grand pets, her dogs, her kids, and her husband. She exemplified to all of us what sacrificial love meant. When Dad was hospitalized, she cared for him and loved on him and taught us all what love for a spouse is supposed to look like. She loved him in all the good times and bad times. Ultimately, the most challenging part for her in choosing to end the fight was ensuring we would all be okay.
I miss my mama dearly, but I would never be the man I am today without her guiding the way. Thank you for showing me and our family what selfless love is supposed to look like.
Elpis and Shalom 